How fitting

While pitching on mother's day at Lake Elsinore I got in the game in the 9th inning. I was hoping I would get in that day because it is a special day, with special meaning to me. I wanted to get out there and do my vary best for my Mom, Joni, and my Grandma, Lula, who are no longer living. I drew their initials on the back of the mound and had a nice 6 pitch inning. Things were beautiful. The next day was an off day and my buddy Robert Perry and I went back to UC Irvine to work out and Newport Beach. We went to "the wedge" an intense body boarding/body surfing spot to watch for awhile and then went into more managable water to do it ourselves. I was having a blast and things were going perfect for me lately. Then life threw me a big curveball.

The next day, I found I am no longer a San Diego Padre who plays for the High A Lake Elsinore Storm. A couple days later I am Windy City Thunderbolt of the Frontier League in Independent League Professional Baseball. I was released last Tuesday and agreed to sign with the Thunderbolts on Thursday. I flew out of LAX and arrived in Chicago on Friday. Here are my first thoughts, I will write more about where I am soon.

My initial thought when I got here was simply...Wow what am I doing here? This is so different than what I have become used to. This is more like the Bull Durham aspect of minor league baseball. Although the stadium is not bad, it is different from the beautiful place I was playing in Lake Elsinore. For instance, instead of a Diamond Club daunting power lines surround the field. But really what has changed? The mound is still 60 ft 6 inches away and that prick batter is still trying to get on base. So as my circumstances have changed, the game of course remains the same. The glamour of an affiliation with the Padres is gone, but I have to remind myself that the Windy City Thunderbolts are still a professional baseball team, and I am still playing ball at a high level with the chance to get signed by an MLB team again.

So what am I doing here? I am taking a stand. I was pitching well at High A Lake Elsinore, pitching my ass off lately. I was certain I had figured things out and I was feeling BETTER THAN EVER about my pitching. I knew I had what it took to dominate in High A and keep moving up. I had allowed one hit in my last 4 games, 4 1/3 innings. The last 3 1/3 nobody reached base. My numbers were getting very respectable for the offensive Cal League. Then I was called into the managers office and was told of my release by the Padres. The clarity that 2 seconds ago I had enjoyed suddenly became mired in confusion and the future blurred. But I refuse to lose sight of the ultimate goal I have. I feel slighted, bitter and shocked, but my resolve is to keep going until in my heart I know I am done. Certainly this is not that time. Whether that time comes a year from now or 15 years from now, I will know.

So what am I doing here? I am going to do my best and leave the rest to God. I trust and have faith that I will be signed by another MLB team. I look forward to proving more people wrong. I have proved people wrong my whole life and to them I would like to say thank you lighting that fire under me. On the other hand, there are incredible people behind me that do believe in my and their support is vastly more important than the nay sayers.

Nothing in this game has ever come easy for me, I made varsity my junior year of hs, didn't play much. My senior year was successful but I threw 78 mph. I kept at it at SBCC, I stunk my freshman year. I was told I would be a decent Division II player. What a wakeup call! From that point I decided I didn't want to be a decent Division II player, I wanted a lot more. I went crazy with workouts. I did a throwing program and threw longtoss several times in howling winds and sideways rain at SBCC's track. I ran every day in any conditions as hard and fast as I could. I lifted weights 6 days a week. Admittedly I didn't know what I was doing to the degree I do now, but I was getting after it more than anyone ever has and I believe that 100 percent. Nobody worked harder than me. And it paid off, I had an incredible season, I was at first pumped to get my first recruiting letter to a Division 1 School in Saint Mary's. As the season went on it turned into as scholarship at the now baseball powerhouse UC Irvine. I continued to work really hard, we got to the college world series my Senior year and I got drafted by the Padres in the 30th round.

30th round is late, I signed for the minimum $1000. So I obviously had to prove myself and work hard all over again. Now this is especially true after getting released. This game has always been a process for me so this is just another path of patience that I must travel.

As Coach Dave Serrano of UC Irvine would say, "The hay is in the barn" I will just have to go out and trust the hay and let it work for me.

Stay on the table

First of all, for all of Santa Barbara, I am thinking of you all. Praying you and your homes are safe. My dad called me last night and was in the mandatory evacuation zone and asked me what I wanted to be saved. I have faith that everything will be okay, but its a shocker none the less. What a question to answer huh? It puts makes you realize what you have and what things are truly important to you. No doubt about it that it is the things most valuable to your heart that come first.

As for my current state of affairs, the Storm is beginning to build here. We were really on a roll for a while after my last post, playing great baseball. We have since lost 3 of 4 but now stand at 15-12 which is solid. We were on commuter trips almost all last week which gets a little tiring. Driving an hour after the game you are not able to get to bed at a decent hour and weights in the morning can cut the gift of sleep short 3 days a week. We are actually only required to go 2 days a week but since when have I settled for the minimum?

After early struggles I feel pretty comfortable right now do to a few physical and mental adjustments. The biggest thing for me was to just get back to being myself. Just do what I do. Do what I did to get me here. Not just in baseball but in all parts of life I think it is human nature to change even if things are going well for you. We always think there is probably an even better way and in that quest for even greater success, we lose sight of what made us successful or happy in the first place. Of course little adjustments and improvements can be made. I have added some pieces to the puzzle myself. However the table is only so big and you cant build that puzzle off the table into thin air.

Oh, to answer your pressing queries about what Baek bought for spread (as if anyone really cares) he got us Buffalo Wild Wings and his next start got us Pizza. The wings were fun because one of the cartons was labeled "atomic." Let me tell you, atomic is very accurate. Almost everyone tried one and we were all literally crying because of the heat/laughing combo. My lips were even raw the next morning.

So stay on your table everybody